So, since the guys over at blogspot are twats and flagged my screaming secrets as obscene (there is something disturbing about being told your life is obscene) i moved to my own domain. i figured i might as well move this blog too.
So check me out in my new place… Always His. This is my own domain, so it’ll be my last move.
Today i fell apart. i thought i was past this. Son of a bitch. Now to pick myself back up. Because i’ll be damned if i’ll let this lay me low forever. Nope. No way.
So today the cops scared fuck out of me, i thought i was going to have to go in the basement, and my sister worried hell out of me, Brad got out of school for three weeks and i was late picking him up. i’m a stressed out to the max.
i’ve been switching and loosing time and all over the board. Not good. Not good at all.
Last night we had really painfully yummy sex. i would tell you all about it but i’m not too sure of the details anymore. Just trust me it was hot.
We continue to get more serious with LK. Its good. Want want want. We’ll see.
Jail still looms.
i had to go to JH’s brother’s funeral and family night this week and that sucked up a lot of my time. Worrying about it and freaking out was a lot of the problem. i had lots of switchiness and flashbacks and ick this week. i hate JH.
Question number 1: What are three of the stupidest things you’ve done in your life?
1) Got that stupid city sticker.
2) Started smoking.
3) Consciously got fat.
Question number 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?
J. Duh.
Question number 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?
my mother, i really miss her
my kids to see how they turn out
myself and warn myself about question 1
J when he is very old and ask him if it was worth it
LK when she is old and ask her if we end up together so i can stop stressing it 
Question number 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
For Brad to be as high functioning as possible and lead a productive life.
For Kami to come home.
For financial stability.
Question number 5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should really avoid.
A single club.
Better youth activities.
Avoid fishing at the paper mill and swimming near the waste water treatment facility. (you’d be surprised)
Question number 6: Name one event that has changed your life.
Meeting J.
And i refuse to tag anyone, it stresses me out. If you want to do this, do and let me know in the comments that you did and i’ll come check it out!
Today was a trying day. It seems like most of the important people in my life are having a hard time. my friend Trina did something rash and scared me pretty bad and it really made me think.
At least Lady C was having a good day. That was the sunshine in my day.
LK has become so important to me. To us. Something happened today that really made us realize how much we already care for her. Its scary. Its been a long damn time since i cared for someone this much and wasn’t sure they loved me back. Since the early days of me and J. Early love has to be so intense and great because its also full of worry.
J and i worked out yesterday. i feel better today about that situation. So that’s better.
We are supposed to have sex tonight. i know this is shocking, but i’m not really in the mood. i just feel icky. Depressed and at the end of my rope. Not exactly romantic. How ungrateful is that? i’m a bitch. i admit it.
Good thing it doesn’t really matter if i’m in the mood.
So LK is in and we are having a nice time. i got drunk last night and passed out so no kinky stuff to speak of, but lots of chatting and lots of hanging out. Its been fun.
And for forgetting to blog yesterday, i’m getting ten licks.
The little BRAT next door let Brad out of our fence. i am livid. i don’t know what to do about it. Then Brad threw a fit for an hour and a half because he thought he was going for a ride.
i’m digging my legs again. i’m under a lot of pressure. i try to stop but its hard. Every time i think i have a grip on this thing, something new pops up. Between the garnishment and the looming threat of a felony charge i’m loosing my mind.
Starla and her Master gave me a job and that really helped. The only thing is its hard to work when i’m crazy. i’m struggling a bit. It makes me ashamed. i want to kick ass and take names. i’m constantly worried that i’m not doing a good enough job.
